City of blood
by Alicia matter
Summary: After city of lost souls, Clary is gone. And from that moment blood is spilling everywhere. Jace feels lost within himself, knowing he is going to face a quest that is too hard to bare. Death is the beginning, the middle and the end of all.
1. Prologue

The silver moon was reflected on the frozen lake, the black sky empty from all stars but the moon, and the lake, spread to all directions.

Far away something was moving towards me, as it came closer I could see those were two angels – the one pursuing the other. both of the Angels had their wings closed as they ran faster and faster.

"Jace!" i heard a scream as the first angel fell on the ice, it was Clary, hounded by Sebastian. I tried to run to her, to help her, but it felt as if my feet were a part of the icy lake, I couldn't move towards her.

"Jace im sorry!" she yelled.

Sebastian already on her laughed, "You know he can't help you, no matter how much he wants to, you _**are**_ a part of me".

She didn't look at him, she looked to me, her green eyes open wildly trying to tell me something, but I was distracted with the cup in Sebastian's hand, it was the mortality cup – not the real one, but the one I helped him create.

He took hold of her chin and pushed her head back, forcing her to look at him, she spit in his face.

He just laughed, "oh, dear sister" he said, "Didn't your mother teach you any manners? What would our father say?"

She spit again, looking to him in hatred, "soon you would apologize to me" he continued and squeezed her chin hard.

The pain was seen in her eyes although she tried to hide it. Sebastian put the cup to Clarys lips and pushed in up, blood was drooling down her face as she tried to keep her mouth closed, but Sebastian was allready closing her nose with the hand that was holding her chin. And as soon as Clary couldn't breathe any more, she started drinking.

The moon colored itself in dark red - blood red - and the ice started cracking as Clary's wings got on flames and dissolved into ash. Her few runes disappearing from her body, as she kept drinking.

The ice under Clary cracked and she fell into the water- no, not water, blood- as Sebastian raised himself to the sky with his wings looking mockingly into mine.

I felt a stab in my heart and as if I was falling into unconsciousness I woke up, the sound of Sebastian's laughter ringing in my ears.

I lay awake in my bad, the fealing of the stab still hurting me.

Something was wrong, the feeling i had always had vanished - it was as if i was alone in this world.


	2. Chapter 1

Isabelle

Simon sat down on the bed, I could see in his face he couldn't- no not couldn't, he didn't want to- understand, believe, this is happening, that Clary is gone. I was explaining to him what had happened only an hour ago, but he still believes she is herself - he doesn't believe she is dangerous for us.

Since we came back from the fight against Sebastian, where Clary saved Jace from Sebastian's control, Jordan moved in with Maia – a thing Simon supported so badly I think he gave them the idea – and Simon was alone all the time, except when Clary or I came to be with him – but he always kicked us out as fast as he could.

Right now we were in his room, which was still empty and white on every wall, like a big white box with a bed and a small window.

"I think you should move in the institute, since now you can say god's name it wont be a problem for you to come in there," I started to say – it wasn't the first time I offered it .

"No", he answered staring to the other edge of the room, his eyes focusing on one specific point on the wall, "it's not a good idea".

"You already told me that answer a million times!" I told him "Why not?"

he took a deep breath- a thing he kept to do even tough he didn't have to breath.

"You remember I told you that Luke joined the dark side only to try to save Leia, and in the end he was the true reason she had died?" he asked me after a few minutes.

"Yes," how could I forget it? It was the night I was drunk and asked him to tell me a story and he had told me all about Star Wars. I gave him a big part of my heart on that night, but still not all of it because a small peace I wanted to save from harm – I wasn't as dumb as my brothers who both had their heart broken. "so whats your point?"

"The Irony is that he tried to save her and only killed her in that way," he said and looked into my eyes, I could see a sparkle of sadness in them "I don't want that horrible irony in our story, I don't want to put you in danger at all".

"And how would you do that?" I asked, anger starting to spread throw my body, "By not doing anything, and hiding in this house?"

He looked hurt, but I didn't care, "Im not hiding here, right the opposite way, im waiting in an open place where I would be only one getting hurt – and not you, or Clary."

"Don't you think it's too late for Clary now?" I said angrily not thinking what Im saying, he turned his face to the window, but not before I could see the hurt in his eyes.

We sat in the room for a long time- it could have been an hour or even more. I didn't want to leave yet so I just sat there and calmed down; I didn't want to see Jace's reaction for my mistake yet.

"What did you mean when you said you are waiting in an open place? Whom are you waiting for?" I asked after what seemed like more than a hour.

He started telling me about how he met Raphael a few weeks ago, when he still had the mark on his forehead, how he had laughed at him for wanting him to be his day time bodyguard and by laughing making Raphael so angry, that he promised to be the first one to try to kill him when the angels wont protect him anymore – and now that the sign is gone he know soon Raphael will start to hunt him down.

"Why didn't you tell me anything about it?" I asked.

"I didn't think there was anything to be afraid from because I thought the sign will never go, and now I just want you to be in as less danger as possible." He answered.

I came closer to him and kissed him, he was tensed for a minute and then kissed me back.

After a few minutes I backed up and said; "Please come to the institute today, if something will happen to you I don't know what I would do."

He most have seen it in my eyes, but he didn't even try to decline my offer - he just said "I will be there at night fall".

"okay".

"I love you" he said after a short hesitation.

That must have been my breaking point because on that moment I felt myself giving up to him, all my heart was his now – just what I never wanted to let happen. But I didn't tell him I loved him back, I just kissed him.

We continued kissing and then at noon I left, knowing it was time for me to face Jace, and go back to reality.

"At night fall," he said as I went through the door.

As I left the house I felt something was watching me, and it brought a shudder trough my body - something is wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

Jace

I lay in bed for a long time, I wanted to stay there, not to move and just drift away - but i know i couldn't.

A picture of Clary the day before appeared in front of my eyes, but I didn't want to see it – I wanted to not think at all.

I knew that soon someone will come in to tell me, but I didn't want to talk to anyone, so I had to go.

After changing myself and writing a little note that im going for a walk – a thing Clary decided we both should do when we leave so no one will be worried Sebastian got us, a thing I still find stupid but I promised her to do.

I jumped out of the window, so I won't have to see anyone while walking throw the institute, and started walking – don't know where, don't care.

_"Jace," _Clary asked me just before she left the night before_, "what would you do if Sebastian gets me and makes me drink?"_

We were sitting on my bad_, I came close to her and whispered in her ear "he won't get to you, and you know that, Isabelle is going to watch over you tonight, Simon in the morning and than you will have me."_

_I tried to kiss her on the cheek but she moved aside and looked in my eyes, I could see something is worrying her – I saw that from the moment she came in my room, after saving me in the fight, and it never left her face; not even in her sleep. "But what if he still gets to me? There are others ways for him to do it – and you know that"_

_She was referring to the way Lilith got to me in the first place, "your mom and Magnus made a spell against that, no one can get in your head like she did to me."_

_"But that's where you are wrong!" tears were running down her cheeks, her green eyes were so big, the last time I have seen them that way was when I found her after the attack in her mother's house so long ago, just after she realized her mother was gone and she was all alone, "how many times had I dreamed about you? About him? And everything in that dream was real?"_

She was right in the end, that's what he really did to get to her, but I didn't want to believe her. _"you will be OK Clary, nothing bad will happen to you – we are finally together and nothing will separate us."_

_"You have just opened your mouth to the devil," She answered and when I looked confused she just shook her head "it's a mundane thing."_

_"Clary look at me," she did, "don't worry, even if he will get you, I will come to save you – just like you saved me."_

_She smiled at me, but there was still something in her eyes, she was still afraid of something, "please Clary, what is it?"_

_"What," she took a deep breath "what if Sebastian is right?"_

_"Right in what?"_

_"Right in saying im more like him then I want to believe?"_

_I was going to tell her she was wrong, that Sebastian said it just make her feel the way she feels right now – to make her unsure –but before I could she came closer to me and kissed me, trying to shot me up I guess. _

_"Ok it's time to go" said Issy opening the door, she looked at us and laughed, "Get a room!"_

_"Look who is talking!" I answered and throw a pillow at her; she closed the door fast, laughing. I turned to tell Clary, what I wanted to before she kissed me, but Clary was already on her feet she bent down to kiss me one more time and went out throw the door._

I hit the trash can I was walking next too, a cat jumped out of it and ran away – how stupid have I been? Why did I let her leave?

I walked on, I didn't really know where I was, I just walked for a long time – and now it was time for me to go back, back to reality.

Only when I got back to the Instatute I understood the one little thing that annoyed me the whole time; Clary had that feeling about herself all the time but she told it to me only a few hours before it happened – as if she knew it was going to happen.

What was she waiting for?


	4. Chapter 4

Alec

I went to Magnus's house; I had to talk to him, to explain why I even met Camille in the first place – to tell him I hoped she could make my life longer.

I went throw his big, black garden gates, and even though it was already spring now it looked as if it's in a thunder-storm, a really hard one. I wasn't expecting anything like it so I was soaking wet the second I walked in.

Rain was blowing in my face, what could I tell Magnus? How can I tell him im sorry? _'Hi, sorry for almost shortening your life to probably nothing'_. I can't believe I actually wanted to do it – it wasn't until he faced me that I realized what I almost did.

When I got to the steps before the big wooden doors I heard them open up.

I looked up, hoping to see Magnus coming out of them, and saw a girl coming out, her brown long hair was covering most of her face, and I couldn't recognize her. She was buttoning her shirt and didn't even seem to notice me as she walked down the steps.

As she walked next to me she slipped on the wet step and fell to the ground – fast – but I moved faster and caught her before she hit the ground. I already suspected it, but I wasn't sure until she fell, she was a mundane – no Vampire, wolf, Shadow hunter or warlock would slip the on steps like that.

But what was a mundane girl doing in Manus's house?

I looked at her as she flushed, "thank you, Alec", she said.

How did she know my name? Did Magnus tell her about me?

"No problem –" I answered, leaving a place for her to feel in her name.

"You may call me miss Gray." She said in an old fashion accent and stood up, ready to keep on going, but then she hesitated and looked into my eyes, hers were blue-gray and I could see sadness – or was it hurt?- in them, something familiar, "are you looking for Magnus?"

"Yes I –"

"Well, he isn't here," she broke me off, she started talking faster and faster with that old-fashioned accent – what kind of accent was it? "You may take your things from his house and leave – there is nothing ales for you to look here."

She turned backwards and started walking towards the door.

Only when she opened the door she turned around, "are you coming or not?"

I ran to the door and went into the house.

"Where is Magnus?" I asked while we went to his bedroom.

"Magnus had some business to do in Idris," she answered hesitating – was she lying?

"And may I know who you are?" I asked as we reached Magnus's room, it looked the same as before – only slightly darker.

She pointed to the other side of the room, a box was standing there, "your stuff are over there" before she could say anything ales there was a knock on the door.

She quickly turned around and went to the door, forgetting all about my things I went after her.

She held the door handle and just before opening it she turned and saw me I could see despair in her eyes – she did not want me to see who was on the other side of the door.

She opened the door and I recognized brother Enoch immediately, I think she did as well because she was not scared to see him – I have never seen someone who did not show rejection to one of the silent brothers when they saw one, no matter how many times they did.

Outside it wasn't rainy any more, it didn't even have a trace of the rain.

_'Tessa, Alexander,'_ I heard his voice in my mind.

"Brother Enoch," said Tessa, "I see you have survived."

She was smiling, and after getting an answer I could not here she answered, "I know, we had a deal, and I am ready for it."

_'shadow hunter,' _he said looking at me, _'I think it's time for you to go.'_

"I just was on my way out," I lied and went out the door just as he came in it. For a second I could see something in his hand, almost completely covered under his sleeve, it looked like Clary's sketch book – but why would he have it?

The door closed shot behind me, and the rain started again – but I didn't care, I wasn't ready to leave yet.


	5. Chapter 5

Isabelle

I got to the Institute door and before I could take a deep breath and open the door it opened up, my mom came out and just continued walking, not noticing I was even there – a thing she always do when she's upset, what happened?

I didn't look after her, I know she didn't want me to interfere her, I got into the Institute and it was confusingly empty – the last couple of weeks lots of shadow hunters where going in and out the Institute, some to keep guard some to be here when it's needed, but now it was empty, what's going on?

I guess they all went to search for Clary - that's the best explanation.

I looked inside the library, the kitchen, his room and the weapons room but Jace wasn't in them, I continued searching and in the end found him in my room, waiting with Church seating next to him.

When I got into the room he looked up at me.

He still glowed, ever since Clary saved him he had that weird glow we still don't know what it was, but it was a bit different, the glow was brighter than before – something had changed in Jace.

"Jace," I started, "I'm sorry it took me so long to come."

"Yeah, you should have come and talk with me first – no one ales wants to explain me what happened to you."

"What do you know?" I asked.

"I know Sebastian got Clary." He said, he tried to hide his hurt, but I know him good enough to know that he is suffering inside.

"How did you know?"

"I think you own me an explanation first," he said, I could see in his eyes that he was on the verge of breaking.

"It was my fault, is that's what you want to know? It's my fault he got to her!" I said tears started to run down my cheeks. Jace didn't react to it, he just stood up and came to me, wiped the tears off my eyes and took me to seat on the bed with him.

"Now," he said calmly, "Issy, it wasn't your fault, you couldn't have helped her at all – tell me what happened."

I looked at him and started, "Clary fell asleep after a talking to me, she told me some weird things – I didn't understand them when she told them to me, but now I think she knew what will happen and wanted me to know what to do when it happens – she started by saying she is happy that im with Simon, that she thinks we are perfect together and that I should not break his heart – never. After saying that she got quiet for a second, it looked like she was fighting herself if she should tell it to me or not. In the end she swore me not to tell you what she wants me to do if Sebastian gets to her – you are my brother so im going to tell you any way, when I think about it I think she knew I will tell you because she didn't ask me to swear on the Angel."

I looked at him once again and said, "She asked me that if Sebastian gets to her – I would kill her. I asked her why, why not try to save her like she tried to save you and succeeded but all she said, and I quote, 'im not to be saved' after she said it she turned from me and fell asleep.

"After a while I felt really sleepy too and just fell asleep – that's why it's my fault Jace! I didn't protect her!"

He came closer to me and hugged me, "please finish the story."

"Okay. Suddenly I woke up, something was moving, I looked up and saw the edge of a knife above me, I tried to move as fast as I could but the knife was faster, it hit me next to the heart – I fell unconscious and woke up at Simon's room. Jocelyn brought me there so I would be in a safe place; she put a rune on me and helped me. I know you would like to know if it was Clary with the dagger – I don't know; I couldn't see who it was."

Jace looked at me, he wiped the last tear off my cheek stood up and went out, when he got to the door he stopped and turned "it wasn't your fault." He said and walked.


	6. Chapter 6

Tessa

Enoch got into the house, and we went to the living room, like we always do.

"Do you want some tea?" I asked in my most British accent, I always asked him the same question, maybe one day he will tell me he would like some – who knows? My Aunt brought me up with manners and im not going to disappoint her.

I saw a sign of a smile on his stitched face as he sat in his usual place, _'you will never change Tessa Gray.'_ His familiar voice said laughing in my brain; I remembered how once I was afraid of it so much.

"I really hope to never do" I answered pleased – as the years went bay I started to feel more and more comfortable with Enoch, after all he is the only one I show my face to, he is my only true friend in a way.

_'What was the shadow hunter doing here, with you?'_ he asked, I could hear in my thought that Enoch was serious and angry.

"I did not attempt for him to see me," I said, "I was on my way to our meeting as he came by looking for Magnus."

_'I warned you that your relationship with that boy will bring you trouble – Jace was the reason you are in this mess in the first place, and another shadow hunter who is looking like him can only make it worse.'_ He was angry at me; he did warn me from the beginning that it's not a good idea.

"I was wrong to mix my feelings with Magnus's feelings – but I started to get bored all alone." I said, it was a childish reason, but it was the truth.

_'I feel as if the time has come.'_ He said after a few moments.

"No," I said, "Not now, but soon."

_'We had a deal Tessa, I will not break it, but I hope you understand bad time is coming.'_

"A friend of mine dreamed about the time that is coming once, years ago, and im looking for this day since he had died" I don't like to think back about London and Jam – how stupid I was, but that's a different story, not a story to think about at the moment.

_'I know about his dream, and that's why im here now, it's time.'_

"Well," I started, "I see it finally happened."

_'Yes, indeed' _he said.

"So, what do you have for me?" I asked.

He handed me a sketch book, Clary's sketch book, _'I trust you already know what it is'._

"Okay, let's finish with it already," I said as I took the sketch book from him. I started, BUT just before I let the darkness spread I saw something in the corner of my eye – I guess it will have to happen sooner than I hoped, a more than two hundred years old secret would have to be told. The darkness was all around me, but there was no light, I felt myself suffocating – what is happening, it had never happened before I asked myself as I saw Clary and fell unconscious.

I woke up lying on my sofa, Magnus sofa actually – but we are one and the same after all – Enoch looked over me, I could see concern in his eyes – I always felt as if I could understand him just from looking in his eyes.

It reminded me of the first time I saw Enoch, when he looked down at me as I woke up in the London Institute so many years ago. The only difference was that then I screamed and was afraid of him, now I was happy to see him – even though the circumstances were bad.

"Did I change?" I asked all I remembered was seeing Clary's face, telling me she-.

_'Yes you did,'_ he answered, _'I don't think you should try to change into Clary again, whatever happened to her is something you can't change into.'_

"But I change into the **dead** so many times before." I said confused.

_'So, you are sure then?'_ he asked.

"Yes, I am," I took a deep breath as I said, "Clary is dead."


	7. Chapter 7

Simon

The moment Issy went I felt bad, bad for lying to her like that, but there was something ales I felt bad about, a bad - no wrong - feeling – I just couldn't put my finger about what it was just yet.

I sat in my room for a long time, thinking about Clary, the last time I had seen her, the last thing she told me; _'if Sebastian gets to me, run, run as fast as you can'_ I guessed she didn't want me to see the horrible things she will do, with no control on herself whatsoever, that's why I just looked at her smiled, _'will see,'_ I answered kissed her on her forehead and she left the room - but she wasn't smiling to me back.

And then I thought about Issy, I couldn't bring myself to lie to Clary but to tell Issy I will come to the institute wasn't a problem for me; why couldn't she understand I can't come to the Institute – it's to dangerous, and I don't want to be a reason for a conflict between the vampires and the Shadowhunters.

When I finally put the thought of Clary and issy away, in a dark corner of my head, I stood up and went to the kitchen; I could feel the hunger within me – it made me think unclear.

Just as I got to the fridge I heard footsteps, someone was running, running and stopping only at my apartment's door, he knocked fast and loud on it.

I knew it was her before I heard her yell for help, "Simon!" Clary yelled, she was scared, "Simon please, he is after me! I ran away from him before he could make me drink –" she stopped talking and screamed so hard.

Without thinking I already found myself in front of the door, as I reached to the door knob I hesitated – it could be a trick – but the thought disappeared when she screamed again, I opened the door.

But no scared Clary was standing on the other side of the room, no crying girl, a smiling girl, but not a nice kind of smile, a wicked grin.

"Really, that easy?" she said as she walked into the apartment, "I gave you much more credit than that, Sy."

She closed the door and looked at me, she was the same Clary I have seen only a day before, only today she was wearing her gear like every shadowhunter before a fight – no it wasn't her gear, it was a red, dark red, blood red, kind of gear.

"Sy?" She didn't call me that way since we were in middle school.

"okay, I lied, I knew it will be a piece of cake to get you," She laughed, but it wasn't the laugh I always loved to hear – the one I missed- the sweat sound she used to make only when the both of us where together – a long time ago, before it all changed – now it was the kind of laugh the villains in the movies always do – a laugh we used to laugh about together as we watched all of those movies – and that laughter reminded me of someone, not Sebastian's laughter, someone else's laughter, but whose?

A part of me, a big part, told me I should run away– but it was the smaller part, the one that told me _it was Clary_ that I listened too.

"Clary?" I asked, and for a moment I thought that her expression will change, that she will look at me and smile her big childish smile, and hug me, tell me she was just playing with me – but I was wrong.

"Poor you!" she said, she pitied me; "You still don't get it? Do you?"

"Get what?" I asked.

"I gave you so many signs, so many hints, since we were kids, to know something with Clary is – was - off."

"What are you talking about? _'Was'_?" I asked.

"Clary is dead!" she said, "she wasn't even supposed to live – if it wasn't for that stupid warlock! But that's not the point; the point is how stupid you are! I gave you all those hints, not only hints, I gave you a dream, I showed you that you should run away as fast as possible – you just couldn't put it together, poor you."

"The dream? You showed it to me, but why?"

One night, when I slept over at Clary's house I fell asleep as we watched Dracula, at the time the movie really scared me so I tried to ignore the movie until I fell asleep, as I slept dreamt that Dracula was running after me, I ran in a big forest that never ended, I got so tiered and fell on a stone when I turned around to see my killer it wasn't Dracula, it was Clary laughing the same laugh as now, she came at me and sucked all my blood out.

"I wanted to see you run away from me, I wanted to hurt Clary as much as I could – so every two years, just as Magnus's spell started dissolving, When I finally got control over my body, I projected to you that im going to kill you, I really hopped you will run away and never come back again," She smiled at me, "I have to say you disappointed me Daylighter, but I did promise you that you will die, in that dream – so now is the time."

The hunger I felt made me think in the wrong way, I wanted to ask her _"What do you mean? 'Hurt Clary' – but you are Clary!?"_ but when I opened my mouth all I could do was laugh.

She looked startled for a moment, "why are you laughing?"

"It's ironic," I answered "that I dreamed you suck all my blood till I die, but in the end im the blood sucker"

"Shush, now isn't the time for you to laugh," I could see it was annoying her. "Now is the time to keep my promise." I stopped laughing, the urge to run grow bigger and bigger within me, but I felt as if my legs were bound to the ground and I did not move, not even as she took a wooden dagger from her belt.

The dagger had a silver sign on it, she saw me looking at it and explained with a grin "your name is written on it, I know how much you love the named bullets from all of those stupid movies – and I thought you'd appreciate this gesture."

At that moment I understood it, I knew why Clary wanted me to run – she knew me better than I know myself – she knew I would never believe shed do anything to me, and that I will never do anything to her – and that's why I'll be an easy prey, believing in her until the last second, and even after.

She took the dagger and shoved in throw my heart, for a second I was in a shock and then I fell on the ground, but I felt no pain- I felt nothing.

Clary looked down at me, with the same grin on her face, "you always wished to die next to me, didn't you?" she asked as my eyes started to darken.

I remembered my dad, on his bed, the day before he died – he told me that now, as he is dying, he can see it all clearly, at the time I didn't understand what he meant but now I do. Because it all became clear to me too, I understood everything, why I had bad feeling before, why I couldn't leave Clary no matter what, and whom her laugh reminded me of – Lilith.

The last thing I saw was Clary's face– when we were kids one day in the play ground I fell of a ladder and hurt myself, Clary ran to me and as she got to me and saw I was okay she smiled a worried smile, it was an adult look, I could see all the love and worries in her face that look made me know I would never leave her.

Clary's face in my memory disappeared and with it I.


	8. Chapter 8

Alec

I was standing outside of Magnus's living room window, still trying to understand what was going on – have I just seen Clary!?

After what seemed like hours, Tessa and Enoch left the room and went outside, as Enoch left the house he turned around and I heard him in my head talking to Tessa _'Be careful Tessa, I have told you once they will be you death – and um afraid it is coming closer.'_

After saying that he turned to the gates and left.

I didn't know what to do, should I go and confront Tessa? But by that I would risk Magnus getting angry at me for spying after him – it could make him stop his help to the shadowhunters completely, and I cannot risk that, not in a time of war.

Before I could consider it further Tessa appeared at the living room again, she went straight to the window I was standing next to and looked straight at me, "come in" she said, I could not hear any anger in her voice - it was more desperation like.

I started to walk towards the door, but she opened the window and waived at me, "we haven't got any time."

I jumped inside the living room and she pointed the sofa were brother Enoch just sat next to, I sat down and she stared at me – not saying anything.

"What ..?" I started to ask but she stopped me and started herself.

"My name is Tessa Gray, I was born here in New York long, long time ago, I am no mundane, neither am I a fairy, wolf, vampire warlock or demon – once, the nephilim called me a shift-changer, for that is what I am – but you have just seen it happen so I don't have to explain you what I mean."

"So…" _you __**have**__ just changed into Clary_, I wanted to ask but she stopped me again.

"Please, Alec, let me tell you my story – I own it to you." _I just met you_, I thought, _so how could you own me anything?_

"Years ago, when I lived in London, I was a key - a reason - for a war that could have ended all the nephillim and downworlders at one. I could not let it happen; the one reason is that for that to happen I will be controlled by a lunatic, and the second reason was that at the time I was in love in two shadowhunters; William and James. The only way for the war to end was for me to die, without me there is no reason to start it." She took a deep breathe, "At the time I did not know that my death would be the death of the war, but Magnus Bane realized it, but for a reason he did not want me to die – he thought my disappearing would be enough."

_So Magnus had saved her life, and now she is back for him,_ I started to think but the thought was cut out of my head as she continued.

"He was dying, because of a curse, and he also knew my potential, he knew that if he would save me I would be able to save him in the future as well as in the present." Even though she looked at the living room table, it seemed as if she was looking at the past – her memories. "Just before he had died he came to me and gave me his ring," as she said it I noticed she was playing with his ring on her finger, "he told me to shift into him and disappear, and as I shifted he put a spell on us, a spell binding our souls together – a spell similar to your _parabathei_ spell. After I changed Magnus took the last breath in his real body, I burned his body and disappeared."

I did not know how to react – _she was Magnus?_ – But she didn't wait for me to answer; she continued "My ability to change is a special one, for I can also touch the thought and memories of the one I changed into, but because of the spell, it was like me and Magnus were one and the same – for years I walked as Magnus, and after a long time I let myself get lost in his memories, it was as if I was sleeping for a long, long time, and I woke up the moment Magnus had laid eyes on you."

She looked at me in that moment, but I could not understand, "but why me?"

"The two shadowhunters I fell in love with, you look like the one of them-"

"Will." I finished her sentence and she looked into my eyes – as if to tell me she was sorry.

"Yes, but when I saw you it just made me get interested in the world once more, I started to notice you, and I saw something more in you"

"So, all the time I was with Magnus, it was actually you?" I asked, something moved in her eyes, it was as if she was happy from one side and sad from the other.

"No. yes, it was me, but it was also Magnus for he fell in love with you too." she said.

"But wait," I said, confused, "What was brother Enoch doing here? Why did you change for him?"

"The silent brothers live for long time; Magnus used Enoch's help in doing the binding spell, and for exchange I have promised to help him on the same day, every year, and change into whomever he wanted me to change into – today was that day."

"So why have you changed back into yourself now – why aren't you Magnus?" I asked her.

"As long as it was safe to be Magnus I was him, but now it safe no more – Magnus was exposed by Camille, do you remember the day, in the cells, when she asked to talked to me -to Magnus- when she mentioned Will?"

"I do."

"Well, she did it not only to annoy Magnus, but also to clear her suspicion – my reaction to his name told her I was in Magnus as well."

"Why have you waited so long to tell me all of this?" I asked after a while we sat in silence.

"Me and Magnus – we were to afraid to break our secret when we knew we might need it soon, but now it is time to break it any way."

I did not know what to say, I did not know if I should hate her-him-them for this, or if I should love them for it – but my body knew what to do, it stood up and went to Tessa, sat next to her and just kissed her.

It was a weird feeling – to kiss a girl – but I liked it, knowing I was kissing both of them. When we broke the kiss off I saw her eyes complete with joy.

"We have no time," she said and stood up, "we have to go to the Institute."

"Wait," I said, "but why didn't they look for you? Why was it so easy for you to disappear?"

She looked at me for a second, thinking if she should tell me, and then she said it. "Will found Magnus's ashes while he looked for me, he brought them to the silent brothers to see who it was and Enoch said it was me." Her voice cracked a bit as she said Will's name.

I smiled at her, and in return she pulled me off the sofa and we ran out the house – the rain outside stopped, and the garden looked as if it was mid spring, everything was full of life.


	9. Chapter 9

Jace

"Oh good Jace, you are already here," said Maryse coming into the library – the place I just sat in after talking to Isabelle, knowing that if anything will happen this would be one of the first places to find out about it – after her were Issy, Jocelyn, Luke and brother Enoch.

When I realized they all got in I could already understand there is something big going on.

"I didn't realize we had a meeting – where's Alec?" I asked as we all came to stand in a kind of a circle.

"We have _just_ been informed about this meeting by Enoch, too, I don't know where Alec is – he will miss it, he always does the last couple of weeks." Answered Maryse, the way she said it showed she was a bit angry at Enoch for not informing her earlier.

_'Well the reason I called you all over here_ _in such a hurry is that I have just gotten some information you would want to here immediately'_ Im not really sure, but as he said it, it seemed he was pointing it in my direction.

"What is it?" I asked, "Is it about Clary?" Maryse looked at me telling me to shot up, but before I could answer her in an 'I don't care for anything right now – so don't look at me like that' look, I had already heard Enoch's voice in my head – and I could not understand what he said.

_'Clarisse is dead' _I heard in my mind again I looked around me and saw all faces where turned at me, accept of Luke whom I noticed looked to Jocelyn who's eyes looked at the floor beneath her full with tears.

Without noticing what I was doing I heard myself ask Enoch in a calm voice, "and how do you know that?"

_'Because of a promise I once made, I cannot tell you'._

I wanted to jump on him and tear him apart, but I knew that if a silent brother makes a promise it binds him more than a shadow hunter swearing on the name of the angel.

But before I even had time to do anything the door of the library opened and Alec was there, holding a girls hand – a mundane girl?

Without noticing the surprise that went through the room the girl left his hand, came to the center of the room facing Enoch, she took a deep breath and said, "I think they should hear it from first source – I will try it again."

_'Are you sure, Tessa?'_

"This is what _I_ was made for; this is what I was waiting for."

_'Well, this is your story to end my old friend.'_

And then I have seen the most odd thing I have ever seen in my life, no one had ever heard about a thing like that, she took a step forward hugged him and kissed him on the cheek – a silent brother. After that she turned around to face the whole room.

The shock of seeing that made me forget about Clary for a little while.

"Well, I am Tessa Gray, I am not a mundane like you all thought as I walked in the room, I do not have a name for what I am, so you can just take me as a warlock – a thing I have been for the last two hundred years." She looked into Alec's eyes and continued. "I am a special kind of warlock, I was made to be what I am, but I cannot explain it, you will just have to see it."

She turned to look at the entry of the room, "because of reasons that you don't have time to hear I was Magnus Bane, the wizard you all knew for the last few months."

Church appeared running at the door Tessa was just looking at she smiled at him "I will miss you Church" she said looking at him- remembering something far from this time. He ran to her and jumped to her hands – he had never done anything like it before.

"How?" Alec, Issy, and I asked at once, surprised of what had just happen in front of our faces.

She giggled looking from me to Issy and then to Alec while stroking his head, "When your oldest friend is going to die, you do bizarre things."

I saw a tear go dawn her cheek, "Jem would have been proud at you," she told him and laid him back on the floor, he meaowed back at her and left the library.

After a few moments she looked at me, I could see hope in her eyes; hope and wondering "I do not know what you are going to see, or if you are even going to see anything at all – but I hope it could help you."

She said and closed her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

When Tessa opened her eyes again they were green, her face full with freckles and hair as bright and as red as fire, it took me a moment to realize Clary was standing in the middle of the room – it wasn't the Clary I remembered. This Clary was sad, hurting and ashamed.

"I am sorry", she said with agony, "I tried to fight! But I lost".

Her eyes looked up into mine, "Jace, I tried, but she was stronger than me."

"She? Do you mean Lilith?" I asked but she already looked into Jocelyn's direction.

Tears ran down Jocelyn's eyes Luke hugged her harder and harder, as if she wanted to run to her daughter or fall on the floor – but he wouldn't let her. "Mom," Clary smiled at her, "Thank you for trying to hide me from this world."

"I'm sorry," she answered her, "I really -"

Clary cut her off, "No! I am happy you did it – that is what made me - me." She smiled to her and looked up to Luke.

"Take care of her" she said.

Then she looked all over the room and said – "im sorry I can't be here to help you stop it, but I lost my fight – and for that I am truly sorry."

Her hair started to fade into brown, and slowly I could notice the freckles were starting to disappear as well – she hadn't got much time left.

"I wish I could explain it to you all – but all I have time to say is that I wish you luck." the runes on her arms started to fade as well, she noticed it and hurried to turn look at me.

I felt as if we where alone, "I know it will be hard on you, but you should remember - I am dead."

As she said it she lost the ground from under her feet and fell side ways on the ground – unconscious – she wasn't Clary any more, it was Tessa, and Alec ran right down to her.

I helped Alec to pic her up and put her on the nearest bed bed, Brother Enoch did what he could but Tessa wouldn't wake up, she was sleeping; _'she has to clear things in her own head, it was too hard on her for a reason I hope, as she wakes up, she will know'._

After Enoch left it was time for Alec to tell us everything and so he did – but I wasn't taking attention in it at all, my head was lost in Clary _'remember I am dead'_ why does she think that? how could I forget it?


	11. Chapter 11

Isabelle

Alec and Jace left the room carrying Tessa's limb body to the next room, brother Enoch and my mom went with them – to help Tessa. I stayed inside the room – alone - staring out the window, waiting for the sun to finally come down, but also to stand still and not move.

I wanted Simon to already be in here with me, but I also wanted him not to. Because when he will come I will have to tell him Clary is dead, and telling him that will change _us_, but if I won't be the one to tell him someone ales _will_ and then – it will change _us_ too.

I know that no matter what, losing someone, who is as close to you as Clary is to Simon, will change you. It will make you numb, lifeless and different. Even though Max's death was different to me I know my case is different than the rest, it opened my eyes to see that im to closed, it left me woundable, with only the few people I was opened to his leaving left a black hole in me, a hole that sucked the nearest person inside it – Simon – it may have had taken me time, but at the end I fell into him completely. But I know I'm different than anyone ales, Simon opens up easily, like Max, it isn't hard for him to trust people – he is already open to them. And that's way I know that Clary's death will break his heart, and change him forever.

The sun was hiding behind one of New York's highest buildings, that building looked black and behind it the horizon was so read it looked as if blood was smeared all over it, the thought of all of that blood made me shiver all throw my body. And With that shiver a thought came through my head, I understood how selfish I am, I don't really care about Simon's heart, I care only about my own.

The thought hit me so hard that I failed to notice someone ales was in the room, Raphael's hologram was facing me, "well, well, Isabelle, long time no seen."

He had a weird smile on his face, a smile of someone knowing something the one in front of him doesn't know. "Hello Raphael" I answered calmly, "should I call my mother?"

"There is no need to do so, she will be here in a few moments," he said, as he sat on the library desk facing me, "while we are waiting why won't you tell me something, a thing I want to know for a really long time."

"And what's that?"

The door opened just as he opened his mouth to continue, "My question to you will have to wait for later – for now I have some business to do here." He turned to face my mother and started talking with her as if already forgetting all about me, "Im here in the name of all vampires today."

My mother went through the room; she looked at Raphael, then at me, from her look I could see that I should go, and so I did.

I went out of the room, the last thing I heard was Raphael's voice, "I have other arrangements so my business here is going to be fast – I am here to tell you that we do not pick a side in your war – yet."

I could not hear my mother's answer, I was all ready to far away to hear it – I got into the room where Alec sat next to the sleeping Tessa and just sat next to him, holding his hand and waiting, staring at the wall.

"Issy," Alec said after what seemed like seconds to me, he held me with both his arms and looked into my eyes, "it's time for you to go, this isn't the place where you should be right now –"

I looked at the window and I could see it was already black outside – no stars where shining, they never do here in New York, but even the moon was away – I was here for much more than seconds, it's been hours.

_And Simon wasn't here yet._

Without even looking at Alec I left his hand and started running up the steps of the institute.

All day long I had a bad feeling, but as I ran up the steps, it grew bigger – where was Simon? Did anything happen to him?

A little voice whispered in my head, telling me that maybe he isn't here because he didn't want to – that he left, like a coward, that he ran away. Maybe it was because I didn't believe Simon could do something like that, maybe it was because I didn't _want _to believe he could, but for some reason I knew I have to lock those whispers in a deep, far part of my brain because if I won't I might get crazy.

When I finally got to the roof top I jumped on Jace's demon motorcycle – which he stole from a bunch of vampires after the last one he took while he saved Clary was ruined – and started it.

As I flew over all of New York's buildings I looked at the view but I didn't notice what I was seeing, all I was noticing was how far away I was from Simon's house.

And when I had finally landed on his roof top my stomach turned, I could smell demons and lots of them, I got into the building and ran down the steps to his floor, as I came closer my feeling had only gotten worse, it wasn't demons that I was smelling now – it was blood, vampire blood, a thing I was so used to smell after fighting them for so many times before.

I was in front of his apartment door, and I took a deep breath for a second, trying to calm myself down, make myself ready for what I might find inside there, than I took another deep breath and kicked the door open.

For the first second I could see nothing strange in the apartment – it looked the same as it did after I left it this afternoon – but then the smell hit me even harder, and I saw a pool of blood on the floor, and next to that pool, I saw a body.

For the first moment I couldn't believe it was Simon, a vampire looks different when its dead, this one was so human, so calm – if it wasn't for the wooden dagger stuck in its chest I would have believed this body had died calmly, maybe even in its sleep.

But a dagger _was_ stock in it, and as I came closer I saw who it really was.

I guess it is because he wasn't a normal vampire that he looked so human in his death but after realizing It really was him, it really was Simon, I just didn't care why he was so human anymore – it actually made me happy for him - a part of my heart broke and I could feel it shattering – the only way to stop that hurt was to stop seeing it, to find myself a goal, and so I did.

The moment the hurt started to spread I let my heart open to the rage I felt inside me for so long, and that now had only gotten bigger – I gave into it – and all I could see in front of me was his face – Raphael's face.


	12. Chapter 12

**Isabelle**

'Raphael!', his name went through all of my body, I had a feeling I felt only once before in my life, the harsh knowledge that it is my fault my love one is gone – it was Max once before and now it was Simon.

I started to walk, only hatred in me, only the need for revenge, I did not control my body, I was leaving my rage do that. Slowly I was walking through the New York city streets, waiting for the night to come to its end – when the sun will come the vampires will go back home, and they will all be stuck in that one place, no way to get out alive.

I started feeling the sun will come up soon, and just as I did I found myself in front of the hotel – Raphael's hotel. I looked up at the sky for one more time - the hope to see it again didn't appear in me only to hope to complete my one mission - and kicked the front doors open, lots of eyes where looking at me in surprise for one moment, and at that moment I took both of my Seraph blades out, I called to them and as the fire stroke out of them all vampires realized what was going on and jumped at me pulling their fangs out.

For a human this number of vampires will be deadly, for a shadow hunter aswell – except of maybe Jace or Sebastian, but they don't count – but for a girl, especially a shadow hunter girl, with the need for revenge there was nothing to stop her, not even hundreds of vampires.

I went up the stairs of the hotel, kicking vamps down the stairs, cutting the once that were coming at me heads off, and burning down the one who had got a hold to my neck. As I came up one of them held my hand hard and so did another one, they brought me to a hold and lots of them started jumping at me, socking my blood, wearing me down, I felt dizzy to dizzily to fight– but I did not feel the pain at all, it was as if there was none. Blackness started to come over me, and it was at that moment that Simon's picture came to my head, him lying dead at his home, killed by Raphael or his men's, and all the power that I needed came to me once more – I started spinning around, my blades at my side and they started cutting those sucking vampires bodies off.

When I finally stopped I saw all of the vampires next to me were dead, but more were coming at me, I ran to the top floor – realizing Raphael must hide there, like the coward he was.

I kicked every door I saw as I ran up the long corridor, but no one was there, I got to the last door and kicked it as well – seven vampires where in the room, six of them I didn't know, but the seventh one I did know, it was Raphael.

Tree vampires jumped right at me, trying to knock me down, suck me to death – but I killed them in one long blow of my flaming blade, my eyes locked on Raphael who was hiding behind the tree vampires that were left, I started walking closer to them and they stayed at their places.

"Isabelle, I thought I'd see you soon, but who would have known it would be so soon?" he said smiling at me, as if he thought I jumped bay to say 'hey'.

"You knew it very well, Raphael," I spat at him – I didn't have the power to play games with him right now.

"Your manners are poor dearie, you come into my house at this time of the night, kick the door open kill all of my freinds – and now you talk so badly to me – I will have to tell that your mother about this, she would be so disappointed at you, you know." He said looking at me.

"Oh," I said, "I don't think you will have the opportunity to tell it to her -sorry."

I took one more step towards them and one, probably a very young, vampire jumped right at me, I cut his head off so easily that I started laughing – "is that all you have?"

"Why are you killing all of the Manhattan vampires, just when you need them all so badly?" he asked, and as he did the two other vampires, and one that snuck behind me jumped at me as well, fangs out, ready to kill me, but it was way too easy, I took the blades and with one full rounded blow, I killed all tree of them – now I had only Raphael left, just as I wanted.

"You know it very well," I said, coming closer to him, he stayed put, knowing when it was time to give up.

"No, I don't know why you should seek a war while you are already in one."

"You know it very well," I spat at him, coming closer and closer to him – I was close enough now to kill him, but I waited, it wasn't time yet, I wanted an answer from him.

My sword came up, he wasn't going to resist me, I could see it in his eyes. He was going to continue the conversation with me, but then he looked at something behind me, and when he looked back at me he smiled, his eyes where shinning with realization and - happiness?

"Now I get it," he said laughing, and my sword came down at him.

As his numb body fell to the floor I spoon around, fear went through my body; the knowledge of coming danger, and just as I stopped in front of her a knife went into my heart.

I fell to the ground.

"Thank you for helping me, Issy." She said, laughing.

'How stupid have I been?' was the last thing I thought to myself, as the world went blank before me – forever.


	13. Chapter 13

**Jace**

Clary is dead, that's all I know now, and that's all I want to forget, I was walking through the Institute like a ghost for almost all of this night, hoping for some distraction, a thing that had never come – until now.

The Institute bell rang loud, it wasn't an unusual thing now days, downworlders were coming and going; trying to help us, tell us of things they heard or things that had happened and some to complain to us about how badly our war with Sebastian effects them.

I went to open the door; maybe that downworlder had some interesting news of where I might find Sebastian and be able to kill him.

When I got outside the elevator, I opened the Institute doors, no downworlder was standing in front of me, no whining blood covered or full with tears creature.

Sebastian was standing there, his hands behind his back he was laughing.

He looked at me but he did not move, he locked his eyes on mine and just stared into me – still laughing.

I looked around, saw everything around me was clear of any suspicion and ran right towards him, my fist was coming right in front of me, hitting him hard, I had gloves on, and the hit wasn't as strong as I would have hoped it to be.

He stayed still, not moving an inch and I cursed him, he just laughed.

I drew my knife out, directed it at him but he stayed still, looking at me and laughing, even as I let the blade touch and cut his neck he remained still.

"Why did you kill her?" I yelled at him, "You had her in your hands! Why kill her?"

He looked at me, he choked out of laughter, his face started get red, he was literally choking out of laughter, "I had not use for her," he whispered just before he fell unconscious.

I kicked his limb body, and took him into the Institute, to the library where I chained him – my hatred to him stopped me of thinking how easy it was for me to catch him.

In a few moments everyone were in the room again, Maryse, Luke, Jocelyn and brother Enoch with the mortal sword.

"So, Sebastian, what are you doing here?" I asked, the sword was in his hand as I did, he looked at me and laughed, just like before, he didn't stop laughing at all since he had woken up, he just laughed and said nothing.

"Why is he laughing in this way?" asked Maryse.

Nobody answered her; it was a question we all asked ourselves too. Most of the time Sebastian was looking into me, staring at me, as if waiting for me to ask the right question – and so I did, "What did you mean when you said," I took a breath, "you had no use of her?"

Just as I asked it he turned his head to look at Jocelyn, he wanted me to ask that question only so he could see her face thinking of her dead girl who was killed by her son – that most have satisfied him, because a tear ran down her cheek even as she tried so hard to hide it.

She looked back into his eyes and spat in his face – for years she was blaming herself in what had happened to him, especially when she found out he was alive, but now she wasn't anymore, for her, it will never trully be her son, for her the reall Jonathan is dead.

"You want to know?" asked Sebastian while he was still laughing, there was something he fixated his eyes on at our back, and he continued "well I would have told you, but, I think she will explain it better than I can." He nodded at what was behind me, and without turning I already knew who it was.

"Well, hello there everyone," Said Clary, she walked towards the middle of the room and looked around smiling.


	14. Chapter 14

Clary

I opened the door with a big laugh, and stepped into the full room, everyone was staring at me.

I looked into my mother's eyes, they were full with hope, she was going to run towards me but Jace was in her way, he held her and made her stop, when Luke noticed what was happening he took her from Jace's arms and didn't let her go.

Luke looked at me, and his I could see he was all broken inside, only my mother was keeping him intact and he her – but not for long.

Sebastian saw me and laughed with me – I shot him an angry look and he shot up.

Maryse looked at me, her face was strong, she was the only one who isn't touched by me, by Clary, but that also is not for long.

And Jace, I looked in his face last, only to see nothing in his eyes – he wasn't connected to me anymore, but he still felt the love he all ways felt for me, so I knew he was bluffing.

"Hello mother, surprised to see me alive?" I asked, knowing that it will break her, and she just ran out from the room, "wait!" I said, and the doors closed in her face, "you should stay here – I can't have anyone else knowing that I am alive – it will ruin all of my game."

"Are you going to tell us what that game is?" asked Jace, no flicker at his voice as he said it.

"Why? That will ruin all of the surprise of me killing you – ups I told you my plan." I said and laughed.

The doors suddenly opened and a young man came in – Alec. I smiled at him and waved for him to come closer, "oh, hey Alec, good for you to join us." he was looking at me in horror, as if someone who died had just come to live – actually I've noticed most of the people in the room did.

"Please tell me this," continued Jace as if nothing had just happened, "how does one hold the mortal sword and lye?"

"Well, there are two answers to this riddle," I answered, "the answer is this, first, one cannot tell the truth for things he does not know, second, one can tell the truth and still be dealt with as a layer."

"But Sebastian said YOU are dead and as we all see –" he started and I stopped him.

"Clary is dead for I have killed her," I answered and smiled at him.

There was a long silent from all the people in the room, and I started laughing again, and this is when Jace showed his first emotion and ran towards me. I swiftly moved aside – I knew his touch will kill me, but _he_ doesn't believe in it yet.

I looked to Alec, "do you remember what the daylighter told you when he got the sword from Raziel?"

He looked at me and answered; "first of all his name is Simon – and you know that! second of all, I do, he said one with more evil that good will die."

"And you don't want to kill me do you?" I looked to Jace as I said so, "For you still believe _she_ is in here, in this body, like you where inside yours when you were connected to my brother, don't you?"

He didn't answer and I went on, "and you think that I am more good than bad," he still didn't answer, " that's why I know it doesn't matter you know im alive – you would never kill me even though I am going to kill you, one by one just like I killed that shame of a vamp Clary has once been friends with, I still remember the look in his eyes, he thought I wouldn't kill him even as the stake went through his heart"

I went to the direction of the window and continued, now looking to my mother, who had tears dripping down her face, "did you ever wonder why I played with those fairies when you took me to Magnus that first time, so long ago?" she looked at me and slowly horror and realization came into her head.

"Oh and you shouldn't look for Issy so badly, she unlike the Daylighter, won't be easy to find."

And as I said it I jumped through the window, Sebastian right after me with the Mortal sword in his hands – the fairies catching us on the way down and taking us to the hiding place.


	15. Chapter 15

Jace

Clary was out of the room, with her was Sebastian and the sword in his hand, we all stood still, looking back at the now empty window.

All but one of us, all but Jocelyn.

The moment Clary was out of the window, Jocelyn ran outside, she ran so fast and she did it in such a surprise for us all that Luke couldn't catch her and soothe her on time. He ran right after her – but she was too fast.

I could see her out of the window running, but it wasn't any hysterical run, it wasn't a run of a mother who just found out her daughter isn't dead but turned into the dark side – it was a run of a woman, a Shadowhunter with a mission, a mission she knows she'd probably won't survive.

I knew Clary would have wanted me to catch her mother and calm her down before she would hurt herself and I knew I had to do it for myself as too, but I couldn't. I couldn't go after her; I just stood and watched while my legs were nailed to the ground.

A few minutes later Alec ran out as well, I believe he ran to see if anything changed with Tessa, but also because he wanted to be alone, after all Clary just said that-. I couldn't even think of it, not yet, not ever.

After Alec everyone started leaving the room, but I stayed looking out of the window, trying to understand what had just happened here.

I could only manage putting some pieces together; Clary was alive, Sebastian has the sword, and I just fell in their trap.

Maryse stayed in the room, it was only me and her, and she just looked at me, trying to say something she couldn't get out, because if she will say anything about what just happened it will mean she acknowledged that Isab-, I couldn't acknowledge it either, not yet.

But as one of her children's, one that wasn't in her blood but was in her heart, she knew she couldn't deny things and leave her me alone, so she had to talk.

"Jace," she started and stopped for a long moment, "Jace," she started and lingered again but then she talked, "Jace, I know what you have just seen most have been a shock to you – believe me it is for all of us. Believing Clary is dead and then finding out she is still alive, it must be hard on you, as specially now when she is under Sebastian control. But you have to look at the full half of the glass – she _**is**_ alive."

I know she believes in what she just said, and I know I want to believe in it too, but something deep within me told me it is not the same as it was for me, something here is rotten.

I did not answer her, I wanted her to believe it was true, and I wanted her to have a little more time to deny what had happened. To have a little more time to feel as whole as she can.

I was going to leave the room, let her be alone with her thoughts when a hologram appeared in the library, I turned to see who it was, it was a vampire, a bleeding one and I could remember seeing him before, he was one of Raphael's Vampires, and he looked towards Maryse in hatred.

"You were warned not to start a fight with us; you were warned we will not choose sides! But now, we are going to pick a side, and it will not be yours," he took something from the ground and held it in his arms, it was a body, a limb, dead body – Issy - "and she is the first victim of the blood we are going to shed!"

The hologram went off, and I looked at Maryse, she was clutching at the table, she was going to full to the ground, but I couldn't be next to her, I knew that I will only make it worse, so I ran out of the room to call Alec.

Alec was in Tessa's room, and she was still asleep, he looked up at me from her bed side and wanted to tell me something, but I shushed him, "go to your mom, she needs you." he lingered at his place and I shouted at him, "go! Now!"

He did, he stood up and ran to the library – after that it did not take long until I felt something ache in my heart, my blood brother heart just broke, and with his did mine.

"You know she is still dead," said Tessa from my side, looking up at me, "I know what happened, Alec told me, and I know Issy is dead, and I know you have a doubt about her being alive or dead – she is dead."

At first I did not make any sense of what she was saying to me, but then it hit me, "Who do you think you are?! Calling her Issy, as if you know her so well! Telling me what I know like I don't know it!" I yelled at her, why does she think she can tell me what I already know!

_But do you really know it? _A thought went through my head, _and if you do, does knowing it means you believe in it?_

"I am sorry, but most of the last weeks, it has been me talking to you, only trough Magnus's body and calling her Issy is how im used to call her." She said quietly, in a way that reminded me of Magnus when he was serious, "but you need to understand something – cause now, you don't."

"So please, tell me why you said that she is dead, and I have just seen her alive? Tell me how it is that I had a dream of her drowning in a lake, and she is still alive! Tell me how it is that Sebastian just told me she is dead! While holding the mortal sword – and she just helped him run out of this place! Tell me!" I yelled at her, I knew I shouldn't have, and the moment I did I regretted it – but it felt good to posh out what was on my mind, to push out all of those feelings.

She looked at me understanding, and answered "Clary herself is dead; I cannot explain to you exactly how it is that you have just seen her – but from what I felt while connecting with her, I think she was mentally killed and then pushed out of her body. When I tried to connect with her she had no real form for me to attach into, and that is why it was so hard for me to stay in her form, it wasn't real and it took all of my energy to create and support it."

"So Clary is really dead." I said out loud, and she shook her head in agreement.

"And now it is your job to find out what she and Sebastian have planed – and try to destroy that plan, I will not be much of a help for you, and for that I am sorry." She paused for a moment, a moment that stretched to what felt like hours but was really only a few moments, "just remember it is not her, because when you get to her you need to be ready to kill her no matter what, And with no hesitation!"

After she said it I knew it was my time to go, and so I did. I had no power to say goodbye to Alec, and I could not start to morn on Issy's death. If I did any of those things my courage to do what I now knew I had to do will disappear with no doubt.

I left the Institute, knowing I will probably not get to come here again.

_Do I have the power to kill Clary?_ I asked myself, _could I do that?_

_You have too!_ Another voice in me said.

But just as the Institute got out of my view another voice whispered the truth inside me -

_No._


	16. Chapter 16

Jordan

Maia turned to face me, she was smiling at me in a sexual smile, trying to seduce me towards her, "well, Maureen isn't here – but look were we are, a five star hotel, all alone and all by ourselves," she said coming closer to me and started playing with my jacket.

Her look, the way she acted, and the way she polled on my jacket, it all reminded me of her a few years ago – back there, at our house, back then before I bitten, before I had bitten her.

She must have seen it on my face because she stopped and looked at me, "what?" she asked, her face wasn't shinning with joy anymore, she let go of my jacket and turned around.

I took hold of her hand and soothed her, "I'm sorry Maia, but we need to continue with our search, we have to find her before something will happen – again." She turned and looked up at me and sight "More people may die if we will stop."

But that wasn't the only reason I wanted to find her, it wasn't only to stop her and help her realize she can't just kill people the way she does. That girl killed my best friend, I wanted her dead! I wanted to find her and kill her! But I know I couldn't, and I know shouldn't, that is why I'm so happy to have Maia with me, she will stop me from killing her, she'll help me catch her and help me help her – but to do anything I need to find her first, and I can't stop until I do!

She smiled then and walked towards the doors, pulling me with her. "It's just that I'm so tiered of searching for her all the time, and I'm a bit anxious – Simon didn't call to catch up with us yet, and it's been almost a whole day since we saw him! He was supposed to call us in the morning, and its afternoon now!"

_Simon again_, she always talked about him, always asking him to catch up with us and asks him what is going on with the Shadowhunters – is she still in love with him? She told me she was never in love with him at the first place, but how could I believe her? When she always thinks about him? When she always wants to be with him or talk to him?

_**Stop!**_ I yelled at myself,_ he is your friend and he has Issy, they have nothing together._

I was a bit angry at her for always talking about him, but suddenly something in me felt weird, I had a weird feeling, "You know what? Go to him and I will stay here to look for seines of her here."

Maia turned towards me and smiled; she came closer and kissed me for a long moment. When she broke the kiss she said, "Okay I will go. But no matter what happens you call me and tell me! Okay? I will meet you when I'll have Simon with me."

She kissed me again and left the room.

I looked around, to see what I can find, the room was darkened, all the windows were shut close and taped – well a vampire had to have a dark room for his day time – she must have been here!

I looked for any signs of her, or any clues of where I will find her.

I looked in the little fridge, and I saw it was full with bottles of blood; I took one to sniff and smelled it was mixed with alcohol, _vamps and their stupid behavior_.

I came closer to the bedroom when suddenly I heard a noise from the far end of the room, the bathroom – a girl singing.

"These boots are made for walking …" she was singing, I could recognize the voice, it was her, it was Maureen, I came closer to the door, "… and that's just what they'll do…" I got to it and got hold of handle and started turning it around, "… one of these days…" I opened the door and looked in, she was standing there, necked, all of her body wet of a shower she must have just taken, she was standing with only a pair boots on, she was looking at them and pointed at them as she sang, "… these boots are gonna walk all over…" she suddenly looked up at me and smiled pointing at me, "…you."


	17. Chapter 17

Tessa

"you lied!" cried Alec as he marched into my room, I was still too weak to move, I was too weak to do anything, so I stayed lying in bed looking up at him – I never liked this feeling, being watched from above, but it still happens to me all the time. From the inside I could feel Magnus's laugh, he knows all of my feelings and I know his – But now is not a good time for jokes, and he knew it, just like I did.

"I gave you a chance to tell me the truth, I gave it to both of you, and you lied to me right in the face!" he yelled at.

_'Did he get his period or something?'_ Asked Magnus, being out of the main control always gets him itchy and annoying.

_'Look who's talking!' _I answered back, '_you knew the moment he will find out about our lie he will act this way; you knew it was wrong from the beginning!'_

_'It was your idea darling_' he answered back, and he was right, it was my idea – at the time it seemed like the best thing to do.

"What did you find out?" I asked out loud – _'Why did he had to find it out this fast?'_ I asked inside.

_'What did you expect, its Alec', _was my inside answer_._

"I went to the archives – and I read what happened to you, and what you did – why did you do that?" was the answer I got from the outside.

Personally I prefer no answer at all. _'But that's what you got'_, said Magnus, answering my thoughts – I just hate when he does that.

"Please hear my side, the real side, of the story before you judge me," I said and took a deep breath.

_'Should I tell him?'_ I asked Magnus.

_'Do you have any other option?'_

Alec stood in front of me, he was angry at me in a way I never saw before – but he still waited to hear my story.

And I told him all of it.

"What I told you back then, about me and Magnus is true, but it happened only after that man, Mortmain, the one who wanted to control me caught me and turned me. I cannot remember the spell he did, or whatever it was, all I remember is the love I felt for him after he did it. I had no control over myself – no that's not the way it was – I did have control, I felt like I wanted to do as he told me, and so I did. "It sounds as if it was the same thing as what happened to Jace, but it's not that. Jace had a little part of himself hidden deep inside, a part that saw and realized he was controlled – I didn't. I wanted to do it from all of my heart; I did not feel I was doing anything wrong by trying to protect him and by doing as he asked me to. I loved him, and nothing felt wrong for me.

"When the Shadow hunters realized I switched sides they didn't understand I was doing it because of a spell that bound me to him, they felt betrayed by me and hunted me as well as him.

"Only two of the hunters realized what happened, Will and Jam, they knew I will never betray them so harshly, they knew I did not want anything to do with that monster – so they came after me.

"I knew they were coming, Mortmain knew as well, so he took us to a hiding place, but I did not come, I stayed in the place the hunters will come for me and him – I waited for them to protect my love, my husband, my Mortmain.

"With one sword in my right hand I stood waiting as Will and Jam marched in, they saw me and they stopped, they looked at me in horror and looked around to see if Mortmain was there. When they saw he wasn't they were so sure it would be easy to catch me and get me the help I need that they let their words down – and that was exactly what I planned for them to do.

"'Tessa, Tessa it me, I'm not going to hurt you, please come with us and we will help you' Jam said I couldn't understand how he wanted to help me, I was happy, a thing I wasn't for a really long time- and they wanted to destroy it by killing my beloved husband. So how could he help me? Unless he was dead, and couldn't destroy all I cared about.

"'Tess, come with me please.' Will said, I could see it was their way to see which one of them I will choose, because the man I will be powerfull to fight the spell for will be the one I loved the must, it was breaking them apart, it was their weak point – and my best chance to succeed.

"I held my hand out towards Will, I did so smiling, I wanted to use their love against themselves and it worked, he took my left hand and got closer to me – It could not have been any easier. I took the sword in my right hand and swung it around sticking it into his stomach.

"He died instantly" I took a deep breath, I never said it out loud, it was the thing we never talked about – me and Magnus.

"Jam screamed and fell to the ground, he was to weak. You need to understand he was sick for years, and that it was his time to go soon, I knew that. He started bleeding from his eyes and nose, and I was sure that death was taking hold of him and he was going to die right there, so I stood over him, watching his death. I was happy – he was going to die with his heart broken, and that made me laugh he was going to die the same way as he was going to put me trough.

"I left him dying on the floor while I was going out. He wasn't dead when I left him."The moment I left that room Magnus caught me and knocked me out; He took me with him to his house. Enoch was there, he and Magnus somehow got a spell to break what I was in, but it was not strong enough to keep me as myself for long, so Magnus bound me to him – killing two birds in one try he said as he did – the part of his dying was true, he and Enoch did all of the ash trick I already told you about and I was him for a really long time."

Alec said nothing; he just looked at me in disbelief, after a few moments he asked me only one thing, "Why didn't you tell me that from the beginning?"

"Because," I took a deep breath, "I was not told to kill them, Mortmain never sent me on that mission – But I wanted to do so, and I did."

He looked in my eyes for just a second and then he looked away, he walked out.

Magnus started talking as he got out,_ 'You know he will never return.' _

_'You do not have to tell me that – it was not my idea for him to go on that mission, it was you!'_

_'You will blame me for anything no matter what – huh?'_

_'Don't do that, Magnus, this is the last time he will see me, you –us- and he hates us.'_

_'Technically he hates you.'_

I did not answer that, a tear ran down my cheek.

_'I'm sorry, I know that this was the last time, for us to be with him.' _He said after a while.

_'And he hats us, now.'_

_'No, he can't, he is dead.'_

_'Stop saying that!'_

_'You just can't stop living a lie, can you?'_

_'No, I can't.'_


End file.
